The Regular Guy Believes in Big Ass Birds

The Regular Guy is having an unmentionable procedure today that involves turning 50.  Do not cry for me; everyone has it; and if I've learned anything useful in life it's not to complain about things that everyone has to endure as part of life.  In other words, if they can do it, I can do it.  

On the other hand, I haven't eaten for about thirty-six hours.   Can I have some turkey soon, please?