Well, the Time magazine "person of the year" is almost here, and they've now announced the ten finalists:
Bashar Assad, President of Syria
Not going to happen. He's bad, but he's not quite Adolf Hitler bad. (Hitler was Time's Man of the Year in 1938.)
Jeff Bezos, Amazon Founder
Amazon is a great company and Bezos has had two world-changing ideas -- (1) sell books via the Internet (the 1990s idea); and (2) ship books (and other media) over the Internet (the late 2000s big idea... the Kindle). But he's already been Person of the Year in 1999, and I doubt a bookseller gets two bites at that apple. Note: the only people who have been named more than once are Obama (2), George W. Bush (2), Bill Clinton (2), Ronald Reagan (2), Richard Nixon (2), Lyndon Johnson (2), Dwight Eisenhower (2), Harry Truman (2), FDR (3), Stalin (2), Churchill (2), George Marshall (2). In short, heads of state. Amazon's not a country, not yet... although Bezos apparently does want some drones.
Ted Cruz, Texas Senator
Just put on the list so they can say snarky things about Republicans.
Miley Cyrus, Singer
Just put on the list so they can say snarky things about sluts. (And to sell magazines.)
Barack Obama, President of the United States
Unless they really want to try to save his rapidly failing Presidency, no. He's already got it twice, including last year.
Hassan Rouhani, President of Iran
Who? Maybe, if Time's point is making sure that John Kerry and Obama get applause for sabotaging Israel. But I don't think so.
Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of Health and Human Services
YGTBFKM. But, actually, maybe, since the failure of Obamacare is probably going to be the biggest story of this decade.
Edward Snowden, N.S.A. Leaker
Would be an interesting pick, but also a very dangerous one... if he's Time's Man of the Year, doesn't that almost give him license to continue his drip-drip-drip of data damaging America's national security?
Edith Windsor, Gay rights activist
This would be the apotheosis of the liberal elite stuffing their belief system down our throats if Time named as Person of the Year someone that even well-informed people like me have simply NEVER FREAKIN' HEARD OF!
Pope Francis, Leader of the Catholic Church
Yes. The obvious choice. It will sell lots of magazines to Catholics. And it will give Time the opportunity it craves to criticize conservative Catholics (who supposedly don't like gays and women and want to keep college girls from getting free condoms or something) and celebrate Pope Francis' supposed liberalism (even though he believes the exact same things on the same issues as every Pope before him).